Choosing a church |
How to enjoy becoming a valued part of a local faith community
By Paul Schramm, M.A., MBA
Congratulations! If you are in the process of looking for a church family where you can worship and connect with Jesus and the world, you are about to unwrap the most exciting and wonderful gift God has offered. To set the framework for the conversation, let’s visit Jesus in the upper room and be reminded of what our Creator has to say about sharing life together. In one of the most profound and powerful moments in the life of Jesus’ followers, Jesus stripped down to a loincloth and after instituting the sacrament of Lord’s supper, he washed his disciples feet and said “Do you understand what I have done to you? You address me as ‘Teacher’ and ‘Master,’ and rightly so. That is what I am. So if I, the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other’s feet. I’ve laid down a pattern for you. What I’ve done, you do.” – John 13 [The Message]
Jesus came to serve the world, not to be served. He came to give not to get. He invites us to seek holiness together over happiness individually and he makes that possible through church life. As you seek to become part of a Christ-centered community, please consider the following four aspects of the early church as God blessed them abundantly as they gathered together in Jesus’ name [see Acts 2:42]
Study together [‘the Apostle’s teaching’]: There is no substitute for studying God’s word with other people who are listening to the voice of Jesus. Married couples, singles, parents, blue collar workers, professionals, teenagers and everyone else need a guide through the messy journey we call life and unpacking the scriptures together is the most fruitful and meaningful activity we can ever do together. For sure, we need the direction of a Pastor or other wise teacher to help us stay on course, yet listening and studying with others who are in similar places or positions is vital. Action: Join a small study group, today. Be ready to get uncomfortable with your personal beliefs and the beliefs of others and be humble to God’s Spirit as you learn and grow together. Better yet, prepare to lead a small group and watch how God blesses you as you bring the good news to others.
Gather together [‘fellowship’]: Christ-centered fellowship – koinonia – is when people who are seeking relationship with Jesus gather together with the intentional purpose of bringing glory to Him and His purposes. For certain, fellowship cannot be done alone – just like baptism and the Lord’s Supper cannot be experienced alone. When we gather as a church – the called out ones - with the purpose of celebrating the presence of Jesus in our lives and the world around us we will hear those wonderful words - ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’ Action: Show up! Engage in church activities and be intentional about bringing Jesus’ presence and His name into the occasion. Show up early and help set up; leave late and enjoy some of the most rewarding times in church life.
Eat [party] together [‘share meals’]: This part is often the most enjoyable and the most challenging aspect of sharing life together in the church because if we are sharing meals Jesus’ way, things will get messy and uncomfortable. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus tells us how to do it: “Then he turned to the host. “The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be—and experience—a blessing.” – Luke 14 So ‘party together’ may be a loose translation of the passage, but you get the idea. Jesus-people are meant to be celebrating people and throughout the entire biblical narrative there is the invitation and the command to share meals and celebrate the goodness of God with those who would not otherwise come to the table. Action: Find out where meals are being served to the misfits and go there. If your church isn’t currently making meals a priority, prayerfully and persistently make it one; they will thank you later.
Pray together [‘Prayer’]: Show me a person who is committed to arriving an hour early to pray for the pastors, the worship team and all who come to take part in the church service and I will show you a man or woman who understands the power of prayer. To be sure, we need to pray alone and without ceasing, yet where two or more are gathered in prayer together the friendships with God and one another run deep. Action: Find out where there is a room for prayer in the church building and meet there with others before the service every week. Ask the pastor if you can invite a few other people to take part in a prayer walk around your neighborhood and simply pray together for the parents and kids in the homes and apartments. Remember, grandparents are still parents and single people are still somebody’s kid.
In closing, let me cover of few other matters that occasionally get in the way of authentic and meaningful relationships:
· If you are concerned about a Pastor’s preaching, stop
complaining and start praying. Better yet, prepare your own message and bring
the pure and simple gospel into your own conversations and watch God work in that.
· If the worship music isn’t your cup ‘o tea, stop complaining and start praying. If a different flavor of worship music is what you think you need to be fed spiritually, figure out how to experience what God has placed in your heart without leaving the church He led you to attend.
· If you find yourself dwelling on how the whole church vibe isn’t hipster enough, or the men aren’t manly enough, the women aren’t friendly enough, the kids aren’t well-behaved enough or the coffee isn’t mellow enough, the odds are that church is exactly where God wants you to be.
· If you are church shopping [what a first-world phrase] remember the opening paragraph. The church is not a product or service for you to consume - discarding the container and tossing the insides if it seems out of date or smells a little ‘funny’. For the follower of Jesus’ teachings – church is life; if that notion causes you no little irritation please spend some time with the Shepherd and listen to what he has to say about the matter.
* Make a list of what you think God wants in your life and seek wise counsel to learn if there is any hope of you realizing God’s abundant plans and purposes outside of a healthy church family.
· Ask often: ‘Am I seeking holiness or happiness?’ More than any other question, this one will serve as a check on our temptations. Keep uttering the following words, “Here I am Lord, choose me.” [See Isaiah 6]
· Lastly and certainly not leastly - Lighten up, yo! You, your family and the world do not need one more uptight Jesus follower who is unable to laugh at and with the goofballs in the world - and you and I are at the top of that list. Remember - ‘In essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity.’
Questions to consider: What are the characteristics of mature and healthy Christ-centered relationships? With other men? With the opposite gender? With my church family? With my biological family? With co-workers and others?
*For further study on the subject, read Dietrich Bonheoffer’s Life Together, or Chuck Colson’s The Body, two excellent books about experiencing the profound joys of sharing life in the church.
Paul served as a Pastor to youth and families in a local church for over two decades and now works within the LifeChange community at the Union Gospel Mission in Portland, Oregon.